It's Time to Begin, Isn't It?
"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." -Lemony Snicket
This week marked the (official) start to the next chapter of my life. I started a job and am in the process of finally moving out of my childhood home. Thus, ends the period of my "funemployment," which deceivingly was no fun at all.
New chapters always bring out a million (and then some) emotions for me. This time is no exception.
I'm so anxious and nervous and sad. I won't even try to lie. For a few days, I wondered why in the world I would feel that. I was so ready to get out of my house and start something new. But, after some time, I realized it's because this is all unfamiliar territory and I don't love being put somewhere I feel so naive and inexperienced. I've literally never done something like this before in my life, and I honestly don't know if I'm ready. But, will I ever be fully ready and prepared? Probably not. When is anybody ready to completely drop everything they know and change their lives?
When I moved across the country to go to school in Nashville, I didn't know a single soul in the entire state. However, I was comforted by the fact that everyone was in some period of adjustment. This time, I lack that same small degree of comfort. Bluntly stated, I am on my own this time. I don't know a single person in a two hour radius, I am transitioning from being a lifelong student to a professional, and I don't even have a place to live!
The future scares me! As much as I hated this summer, I fell into a routine pattern of familiarity. I had a workout regimen, an eating schedule, and even hung out with an ex-boyfriend for months. Everything felt familiar and comfortable, and I retreated to a life of non-adventure. Sure, the lack of any future plans scared me, but at least I had some comfort in routine.
n the opposite (and conflicting) side of the spectrum, I am so excited for a new start. I am so happy with my job and the fact that I get to move to San Diego--one of the most beautiful cities in California. I'm refreshed by a new place, new people, and new things to try. I'd always begged for a fresh start in college, and here I am. I love trying new things--it excites me and challenges me to grow as a person.
This is a pivotal time in my life. I don't always cope well with change, but here goes. I'm all in--embracing every emotion--bad, good, and weird.
Here's to new adventures, new people, new passions, new days. Here's to the next chapter.
PS: Look at the beautiful place I got to stay last night!