**Warning: stream-of-consciousness with zero editing.
A few nights ago, I took a yoga class and as per usual, was prompted to set an intention. The first thing to come to mind was: let that shit go.
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure why it was the first thought, the first mantra of sorts to come into my head, but I decided to go with it. It must have been in my head for a reason, right? So, I focused on letting a few things go the remainder of class. I let my physical tension go - I let my muscles loosen, my heart open and my breathing expand the whole core of my body. I let my thoughts go, simply feeling myself naturally flow through asanas, rather than overthinking every pose I am in (which happens more often than I'd like). I let go of trying to force myself, muscle myself into positions my body wasn't feeling, while simultaneously letting go of thoughts that said I "could never" do some poses. I let go of comparing myself to the yogis around me on their mats and what they were doing, their progress.
Needless to say, I left the class feeling amazing and wholeheartedly determined to carry this mindset into other parts of my life. It was time to just let areas of my life that were serving me go.
A mere few days later, I was having a conversation with Nick, explaining how I felt "neglected" by a friend who had been consistently bailing on me and how I was convinced that said person didn't like me because I had cut down my drinking and was no longer as "fun." Mid-conversation, he stopped me and asked why I couldn't let things go, why I was overthinking and why I couldn't lose my thoughts that didn't serve me and only stirred up negative energy. Via text, he said, "You are upset, and that is doing you no good because if you hold onto that you will get passive aggressive and petty." Point taken and received. After my mid-flow epiphany that I needed to let things go, I had completely neglected that this may mean my negative overthinking and my horrible self-talk - are any of these thoughts serving me? Are any of these thoughts ever productive? What purpose are they fulfilling?
Hop to last night hanging out with two dear friends, Antonette and Lauryn. While laying around talking and laughing for hours (btw - those are the best nights), we discussed how mentally difficult it was to sustain physical injury when all of your friends are runners and some legitimate athletes. We talked about how social media was both great and damaging, how people in our generation and the ones below often struggle to find authenticity. We talked about body image issues and almost everything else in between. Ultimately, one of the two mentioned the same phrase - let it go, followed by an echo of the infamous phrase "comparison is the thief of joy." We talked about tangible ways to let go the angry, envious thoughts of runners who could "do it all," the girls that "have it all." We talked about how we had to let go of some preconceived notions around running and our peers and make peace with where we were individually at. We discussed how you could be emotional, but how you needed to ultimately let the shit go that was not productive.
People always say the hardest things to do, the biggest challenges - well, they're often the ones you need to conquer. To be frank, it's a pain how it works that way. or some reason or another, this idea of letting go found its way into every interaction, every yoga class, every conversation this week. It kept shoving its big scary head into my thoughts, begging for attention.
Maybe this concept of "letting go" and giving it up to the universe around me is my big challenge as of late. Maybe it keeps coming up in a condensed period of time because it's an area that I urgently need to pay attention to.
Do you ever feel like the universe is desperately trying to tell you something, make you learn something about yourself that you're blissfully unaware of?
So, here's to consciously letting go.